jeanne and i were talking today about how some people don't understand that running is hard work. sometimes it feels easy, sometimes it really doesn't. everytime you go out, you have to make a choice as to what you want that run to be. do you want it to be a miserable, whiny experience that you don't enjoy? or do you want it to be an experience that makes you push hard, grin and bear it?

i've been pushing drew in the stroller this summer while we run. at first, i didn't think i'd make it two miles with him. i'd just finished a half-marathon and i didn't think i could even make it two miles. i made it three on the first try and i was proud of myself. now, some days i get a little help from my friends, some days i'm stubborn and want to see just how far i can push myself before i get sick....it's a weird thing that us runner's do to ourselves.....we see just how far we can go before giving up. i did four miles pushing drew on wednesday at 5:30 in the evening. it was 90 degrees according to marie's car when we started. yes, my quads felt like they were on fire. yes, my calves hurt like a mother and yes, i almost threw up for the first time in a long time. but i didn't throw up and i certainly didn't quit. running is much more a mental exercise than physical. i don't think many people understand that until they actually run. i've met some of the best friends i've ever had while running and more than anything, i think they're why i can keep doing it. we talk, we question, we gripe but most of all, we enjoy.

this post is about running, but it's also about the experiences we have in life and the choices we make. some people have very difficult things they face in their lives.....and often times people who can handle difficult things have them handed to them with more frequency than others. mamaw is once again facing a battle with lymphoma and it just makes me think of all the times i want to wimp out and not run. i know it's not on the same scale by any means, but it's all i have to compare.....if i had her mental fortitude, her strength and bravery, i'd probably be blowing records off the charts in my running endeavors.

the irony of my running and my relationship of that running to mamaw, is though i always feel like i'm running for her, she hates that i run. :)

"It hurts up to a point and then it doesn't get any worse." - Ann Trason

Running is a big question mark that's there each and every day. It asks you, 'Are you going to be a wimp or are you going to be strong today?--Peter Maher

a lady named gigi

drew and i just got back from the grocery....this morning's trip was a little different from most. for one, he sat nicely in the buggy the whole time and i was actually able to think. i also remembered to actually take my list in the store with me, that doesn't happen much.

as we were getting ready to check out, i was looking at books and i notice drew smiling and looking over my shoulder. when i turned around, an older lady was standing a few feet away giving drew a thumbs up. she started talking to him and they jabbered back and forth for a few minutes. the next thing i know, this lady is handing drew money telling him to go buy himself something. i tried to give it back to her but she was having none of it. she was only interested in drew and the big smile he gave her when she handed him the money. she told him her name was gigi and asked what his name was. evidently gigi has been choosing kids over the years that she thinks are acting nicely, and she gives them a dollar. for years and years she's done this. she told me a woman walked up to her a few years ago and asked if her name was gigi. when she said yes, her adolescent daughter was standing next to her and they said they remembered the old woman because she once gave their daughter a dollar when she was just a baby.

as we left gigi to go check out, she told me there was no telling how much money she'd given away but it made her feel good so she kept doing it. she said she was a "jesus lady" and that's what she liked to do. some people take singles to the strip clubs....gigi takes them to wal-mart. wonder what the teller at the bank thinks when she asks for all those singles?

update

school is finally out! this is our first full week out, even though i have to go to work on friday...bluh. however, drew and i have been enjoying our time at home. i love not having to wake him up at 6:30 every morning. we get up around 8:00, eat breakfast, drew gets a bath and then we go for a run. he is loving getting to play on the playground at school when we finish...it's too sweet.
i got a new jogging stroller since his other one just wasn't standing up to a near daily run. the new one has a place for my ipod, so i can plug it in and the stroller has speakers that play the music.
jeanne ran with me today and commented on my eclectic taste in music....one minute disney, the next ac/dc.
it's a hard run pushing 55 lbs, especially uphill. it's the only way i'll get to run though, and it's great for my arms -- you wouldn't believe how much arm strength it takes to push.
we hit the pool yesterday and i'm thinking about it again today when drew wakes up. he's been taking a nice nap when we get home from our run and playground jaunt. i can actually sit down and eat without someone pulling at my legs wanting a "bite-bite". i've been neglecting household duties though.....it's just too nice outside when he's asleep for me to sit in the house and do laundry and clean. i can do that when he gets up or tim gets home. i'm learning not to feeling guilty about that, (as i get ready to go get clothes to hang out).
hopefully i'll update more since we're out of school.....:)