Friday, April 22, 2011

things i've learned

i've learned....
-you can't make everyone happy, no matter how hard you try.
-maybe i don't want to try so hard to make everyone happy because it doesn't make me happy.
-i'm always going to be one of the people who is stressed to the max.
-being an insomniac is just part of my life.
-kids are sometimes the most honest voice we'll hear.
-looking in the mirror is harder some days than others.
-dogs truly are man's best friend.
-a husband who is a good listener is a blessing.
-a healthy, happy child is worth more than anything in this world.
-a good babysitter is hard to come by...and once you get one, you should treat them like the gold they are.
-i do my best thinking in the shower.
-i'm a guilt-ridden human being...sometimes that makes it very hard on my poor brain.
-i'm not someone who can just "let go". i'm a talker and i've got to talk it out, worry it around,
then talk some more.
-kids are very a point. even up to that point, they're more resilient than most adults.
-no matter how much i want it to be true, life is just never going to be fair. people play dirty and
the game gets heated.
-knowing you did a great job is better than ever getting the credit for it.
-humbleness is a word we all need to evaluate more closely.
-we're all a little self-centered

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

running away with my heart

i took this of drew over the weekend. it had rained really hard, then the sun came out and it was so warm and sunny. normally i hate it when the weather does that....if it's going to rain, i want the whole day to be rainy and lazy. however, this was our last real day of spring break so i was happy to get outside. drew loved the water running down the driveway so we rolled up his jeans and he played and splashed for over an hour. this is one of those pictures i will always treasure....

Monday, April 11, 2011

absence makes the heart grow fonder

i haven't posted anything in a year. i had again forgotten my username and password to login. i forgot how much i loved keeping a blog. when i found my blog tonight and reread some of my posts from last year, i was sad because i have let a year go by without blogging. i think i've realized how important it is for me as therapy to write, as well as keeping a log to show drew when he grows up. not that he'll want to read any of it. my papaw has always kept little notebooks with things he jots down and thoughts he has...i'll admit, i've snuck and read them a few times. i did feel bad after because i felt like i'd invaded some private sector...i'm a little more open than that, maybe because of the generation gaps and the way society tends to air ALL their dirty laundry these days. i have been so wrapped up in working on national boards this year i've had very little time for anything else. until you do it yourself, you have no idea the time, stress and worry it entails. i've kind of blocked it from my mind at this point though since i turned the portfolio i just have to wait to test in june. on a lighter note, we are going on our first vacation in over five years this summer. i don't know if i'm more excited because we are going or because i know all the fun drew will have. can't wait! i've learned a lot this year and some of the lessons haven't been ones i was expecting. i'm sure some of those things will come out in future posts...some you may or may not want to read, lol. i think need some form of therapy to get all the things in my head out or else i'm going to again find myself in a place that i don't want to be. though many of the lessons i've learned this past year have been hard and heartbreaking, i've also learned ones that have been uplifting and encouraging. i think i've griped a lot in the past year, and though i'll attribute some of that to the hollon genes, a lot of it has been habit and choice. it's much easier to b*tch about things than to let them go for me and i'm getting to a point where i'm really fed up with that part of myself. i've always been a worrywart and when i worry, i take it out on others....that's not fair and i don't want to be that person. (i will qualify that with the fact that i also believe you need to speak your mind sometimes....sometimes opinions stink, but they also need to be stated for our own sense of right or wrong.) "who never doubted, never half believed. where doubt is, there truth is -- it is her shadow." --ambrose bierce