i know today is wednesday, and we are halfway through our spring break, but for me it didn't officially start until this afternoon. i finally went to the dentist and had my root canal. the wonderful thing is, it didn't hurt one bit. wouldn't you know, i'd worry myself sick and then i didn't even feel anything.
for the last week or so i have not been feeling well. i thought it was just a queasy stomach because i had pukers at the end of last week. take that and combine it with a very intense fear of the dentist and some sort of bug and my last 5 days have been anything but enjoyable. luckily saturday i felt fine and was able to do some shopping with mom, mam, gig and hayley. sunday the bottom dropped out. we got up and had plans for the whole day yet my revolting stomach had other plans. we did make it to boonesboro to the playground so drew could go and play outside for a while. we stayed maybe 45 minutes then we had to go....i told tim last night if i wasn't sure it wasn't morning sickness, i'd be very scared. luckily i never really got sick except for sunday when we made it home. it's been more or less just a horrible nauseous feeling high in my stomach. funny, today after visiting the dentist it's not there anymore.
for the last few days drew and i have just chilled around the house. he's played and been so good. i think he knew i didn't feel good. today i got him up at the last minute to go to carla's while i went for the root canal. he seemed fine and i gave him a little milk and some breakfast to take to carla's. by the time we got there, i looked in the mirror and noticed his nice clean clothes were covered in....well, yuck. he'd spit up everywhere. (and by saying spit up, i really mean puke. how long can you call it spit up when they're babies anyway???) so, i had to take him in, strip him, clean him off...carla got one of abby's shirts for him to wear and he again seemed fine. i was worried about leaving him, hoping he wasn't really sick thinking maybe i should call and cancel my dentist appointment....i didn't.
by the time i got to the dentist i was a few minutes late because of the puking incident and mam and pap were in the waiting room twiddling their thumbs. i told her not to come, she comes anyway. what am i going to do with her?
at this point, i've worked myself up to a mini panic attack in the car thinking "shit, i'm gonna pass out if i don't stop it". i went back to my labor meditation tricks, counting and breathing. what a dork, i know. once i got into the waiting room, i pretty much lost it...crying, the whole bit. i really am terrified. i felt like an idiot. why couldn't they just give me some valium and make me act like a normal person before these visits? this is exactly why i haven't been to the dentist in almost 8 years.
once i went back, lovely dr. hill told me not all dentists are created equal and he would not hurt me. i guess that's the same thing we all want others to remember about us -- don't judge or make decisions based on past experiences that were only bad. i can remember many, many trips to dr. hill when he would pull two and three teeth and he never once hurt me. today, he did not hurt me. i felt nothing, hallelujah. i even made another appointment for a cleaning in a few weeks. that is truly progress for anyone who knows me. hopefully i won't cry next time. i cornered monique, the hygenist, before i left and told her if i came back she had to promise not to hurt me. with wide eyes, she promised. we'll see.