Monday, October 20, 2008

"what would you say if...."

with my first official 5K in over 2 years finished, i realize again the need i have to run. first of all, it is so much fun to run with the girls after a hard day of work and second, that thing they call a runner's high, it does exist and i like it. a lot.

mom and hay came with me on saturday morning to walk with drew while i ran. i'm not sure if my family understands how much running means to me. i know tim does, he's seen what happens when i don't. everyone knows i'm a little competitive, but it's not even necessarily that i am competing with others, it's more of a competition with my inner self. i know that sounds cheesy but i have a really hard time making that voice be quiet sometimes and finishing a run always does the trick. fellow runners understand the addiction, the obsession, the absolute need to run.

i don't want this to come across wrong, but running has become my sort of religion. now, i don't mean that in a pagan/athiest kind of way, i just think God always sends us something we need and i know i have been sent a love for something that makes me happy. running has gotten me through when i thought i was having a nervous breakdown, it's gotten me through panic attacks, it's gotten me through mamaw's breast cancer and now it's getting me to a place where i can have a little more confidence in myself.

anyway, something is on my mind with all these 5K's, 4 mile runs three times a week and good eating i've been able to do lately. :) tonight when tim got home, drew was already in bed so we started talking about our day. he was telling me about the weirdos he encounters while doing service work and i, of course, told him about my run i felt, my time, distance, etc.

(like he really cares! :))

our conversation takes a turn when i say, "what would you say if...."

*insert hysterical laughter here*

he doesn't even let me finish, just starts laughing and saying "oh, no!"

i think he knows anytime i say those 5 words, something big is about to follow and he's learned to be a little wary of what i'll come out with next. in the end, i asked him what he would say if i wanted to train for a mini. i know he would be happy for me to do it, but i'm not sure he understands the commitment i need from him to watch drew on saturdays if i am going to train and do a long run then....after explaining it to him, he still says he thinks it would be great. and that's why i love him. :)

i really don't think i'll ever be up for a marathon, but a half would be a huge accomplishment. last spring 3 friends did it and i was so proud of them....and even though i was proud, i was so depressed that i wasn't part of it. it's something i have never, ever thought i could do. i have no idea what makes me think i could do it now with a baby, but i would definitely like to give it a try.

here are some pictures from our pumpkin run....yea WACO!

drew and i after the run

angie and jb

jennifer and ella....mother/daughter or twins?

1 comment:

jenn said...

I am rooting you on if the decision for a mini is in your future. You CAN do it. I hate it when people say this to me, but I promise you can. Its a decision of the head, but also a commitment of the family. You CAN you CAN you Can!!!!

I love the pictures too! I'll try and put mine on later. I love your spirit about what you do (GO HARD or GO HOME) I want to run like you. Seriously.